Mayberry Melonpool is the television-addicted, somewhat clumsy, not-all-that-intelligent Captain of the "Steel Duck." Oh yeah, and he's obsessed with getting a date. In short, he doesn't have a lot going for him.
Sam T. Dogg is completely out of his element. He’s super intelligent, a highly-skilled pilot and has the most common sense of anyone aboard the "Steel Duck." Also, no one takes him seriously because he’s a dog.
Ralph Zinobop is the inventor of the "Steel Duck." He is eager to enter the next phase of his plan: to make money off his inventions to regain his rightful place as ruler of the Planet Zinobop — a planet that he was exiled from by his paranoid father several years ago. His other hobbies include wild get-get-rich schemes and drinking copious amounts of coffee. He also has a terrible temper.
Sammy the Hammy is a genetic experiment gone horribly awry. Sammy is part of the ship’s equipment (he’s the engine) as well as a member of the crew. For this reason, Ralph never bothered giving him a name and he remained known as “Hamster 42” for much of his life.
Ralphie Zinobop is an "evil" clone of Ralph Zinobop. Since Ralph was already evil, Ralphie popped out warm, caring and generally the nicest guy you’ll ever meet — essentially, he’s everything that the original Ralph is not. In addition to his personality, Ralphie is left-handed (Ralph is a “righty”), his DNA winds the opposite direction and his fingerprints are reversed.
Flatworm Jim was the original pilot of the "Steel Duck." A six-foot-tall intelligent flatworm, Jim’s usefulness was cut short when he was injured, resulting in three versions -- good, bad and a two-headed neutral version. All three (or four) now live on Ralph’s asteroid tending to over 6 million hamsters.
Roberta Smeffinfeffer is level-headed, if not a little bit insecure. She has the tendency to follow her heart a little too much. Case in point: she's also Ralph (and Ralphie's) ex-wife. She has a background in space biology and studies medicine for awhile. She currently serves as doctor aboard the "Steel Duck."
Fred the Monkey was Ralph‘s last foray into augmenting lab animals for other purposes. Fred accidentally jettisoned himself in an emergency escape pod, sending him back to Ralph’s asteroid, where he and the rest of the original crew were created.
Old Ralphie is the only survivor from the original Melonpool universe that we've encountered so far. He's essentially the product of Ralphie being caught in a 30-year time loop. He's currently searching through time and space for his lost wife and son.
A giant snail gangster has a price on both Mayberry (who he thinks is named "Mulberry Melonhead") and Ralph. His base of operations is on Mollusca 7, a wretched hive of scum and villainy. No relation to Jabba the Hutt.
Vic was Mayberry‘s former boss and the owner of P.J. O’Earthy’s — an Earth-themed restaurant on a space station in the outskirts of the known universe. Like any T.G.I. Friday’s wannabe, it’s tacky and overpriced and known more for the kitsch than the food.
Eileen is not a very nice person. Some might say that she knows what she wants — or rather — what she doesn’t want. And what she doesn’t want is Mayberry. There aren’t a lot of GRAISE women roaming around the galaxy — leading to persistent rumors that Eileen may or may not be a human-GRAISE hybrid.
One of the mercenaries under constant employ of the Slime Lord. He seems to be the (slightly) smarter of the two Goons.
Originally named "Hamster 13," Tammy is the former engineer of Roberta's ship, The "Blue Bird." She's much smarter than any other of Ralph's giant hamsters, but was horribly-burned saving the rest of the crew. She currently is encased in a block of Carbonite, awaiting medical treatment.
A partially completed (and often malfunctioning) Protocol droid-like robot. Made from spare parts of several different discarded robots, the lower half serves as a secondary propulsion system for the "Steel Duck" on occasion.
The cartoonist/puppeteer who occasionally appears in this comic.
The slightly dumber mercenary employed by the Slime Lord.
A Bounty Hunter with a Napoleonic Complex.
Cartoonist Steve Troop's Italian Greyhound dog. She appears in the strip occasionally and is also an alien.
Roberta's cat. Rumor has it that she was adopted during a brief trip to Earth.
Womanizing captain of the USS Mainway. Among other people, he's currently dating Eileen.
The scientific wing of a much larger space empire. GRAISE stands for Genetic Research: Alien Intelligence and Experimentation.
Dr. K. Ivan Ruppert is the doctor aboard Johnny Space Commander's spaceship, the USS Mainway. His first name is Kilroy and he's rumored to have distant relatives living on Earth who may or may not work in convenience stores.
Head General for Stag Nasty.
A GRAISE crewman aboard Johnny Space Commander's spaceship, the USS Mainway. He's about the equivalent of Mayberry intelligence-wise. He's considered the general purpose crewman by Johnny and his crew.
No-da is Yoda's black sheep brother. He's a master of the Grey side of the Force -- a skill he uses to cheat at gambling, pick up women and light his cheap cigars with a lightsaber.
Roberta II is the alternate version of the Old School Roberta. She was created after Ralphie got stuck in a 30-year time loop, turning him in Old Ralphie. Once that timeline was restored, Roberta II and Old Ralphie traveled to 2187, got married and had a child, Gil. Eventually, they desttoyed the original universe and became both time and universe refugees, assuming she even still exists.
Gilligan Tiberius Zinobop is the son of Old Ralphie and Roberta II from the original universe. A unique Melotian/Zinoboppian hybrid, he seems to take after his uncle Ralph in temperament. His current whereabouts (and whenabouts) are unknown.